Weight loss, the war of motivation and the Snooze Button

Jul 23, 2018
weight loss
Pictures source: Instagram depicting the writers Yo-Yo attitude towards fitness and food

It’s never a great idea to write a fun article in a not so fun mood but I am going to attempt anyway.

I did it again today! Again! Maybe the 100th time again, I pressed the snooze button to my 6 AM alarm and slept off like a dead dog till it became almost impossible to stay in bed because I had to go to work.

I have been watching so many magical body transformations on YouTube lately, and wondering whether the people in these videos are aliens and need to exercise like I need to eat, every day. You can’t call me thin but you also can’t call me fat, I am somewhere in the middle, hanging there with a carrot stick in one hand and a big juicy burger in other. Overall I am a selective calorie counter and exercise only when my family guilts me too much over how I eat and never work out. These days my diet mostly ends at a single attempt by someone offering me a piece of chocolate

But things weren’t always like this. I was disciplined and motivated and a self-starter. There used to be jokes around my willpower of never giving in to the temptation of that birthday, new joining, work anniversary, someone getting a star of the month certificate samosa at work. Greasy food and I had no relationship, not in joy, not in pain, not in heartbreak or ecstasy of all going well.

Then what happened?

I had been on a diet for so many years that I felt I was losing on the experience of life, I love food but I could never eat the greasy, unhealthy, fattening food. So once I gave in, I completely let go and over the year I have gained around 8 to 10 kilos.

The loop of weight gain guilt is unbreakable. I have a great sense of admiration for those who accept that they love food and would never do anything to change their lifestyle. I think such people are fabulous, they embrace their bodies and don’t keep obsessing about how people perceive them, their weight doesn’t come in the way of them doing great things for themselves, like buying expensive clothes, wearing makeup or getting photographed. Their self-esteem is not dependant on belly fat. Honestly, kudos to these guys!

And then there are people like me, I weigh myself once every day, I haven’t shopped for clothes in over 6 months and for me, everything including life will begin only if I shed that extra weight. I sometimes wonder if I am my weight and my weight is me.

And even if it is, I don’t do anything to change that.

Quite a downhill fall…

This post is coming to an end and maybe you are waiting for a positive twist, that dayum! She is so going to transform and this is her first transformation post but I have been wanting to transform since a while and Siri knows it because I tell him to wake me up at 6 AM every day and when he does I put my alarm on snooze till my cook wakes me up with the doorbell and the inevitable question of Aaj Kya Banega Didi? (translates to what should I cook today)

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